Cross Country Move Limbo

I’ve decided to make a cross country move from Los Angeles to a small, country town in upstate New York so I can get to know my dad. I’m known by friends to dramatize and exaggerate pretty much everything, but to say this is the biggest decision of my life is not hyperbole. I have enjoyed the mild weather of Southern California for 25 years and I assume that I loved city life even in utero. With a community of friends and a fulfilling career, I never before considered living anywhere other than Los Angeles, let alone making a cross country move to a small, rural town. Then, in October, the blank space under “father” on my birth certificate was filled in. As it turns out, I did not just gain a name for my birth certificate, but I won the dad lottery. No one could dream up a dad who is more caring, kind or thoughtful as the one I got.

My Dad wants me to do a cross country move!

My dad during a trip to Los Angeles

In the beginning, I envisioned our lives filled with endless Skype chats and countless cross country visits. That seemed like a sufficient method to get to know my father. But when your dad leaves you notes like this, how do you say no?

cross country move post-it

I certainly tried. It seemed too dramatic, too fast, too scary a move to consider. I resisted and avoided thinking about it until it was all I could think about. Somehow this cross country move came into focus as the only possible option. While it still feels risky and terrifying, I know not leaning into this experience with my dad would go down as the one great regret in my life.

Now, I find myself in this strange space in time between the decision and the move. It’s sort of an angsty limbo. Life in Los Angeles is coming to an end, but it hasn’t quite begun in New York either. It’s hard to make plans when I’m not sure where I’ll be living or what my life will be like. There are so many yet to be answered questions– Where will I get my lattes? What if I don’t make any friends? How will I handle the snow? When will I feel settled?

In movies, this limbo is conveyed with a well paced montage with soaring music. Sure, there might be some pratfalls, but it glosses over the uncomfortableness of change to the point that it seems amusing or glamorous.

It’s like in Dirty Dancing when Baby learns the mambo routine in a scant 3 minute and 30 second montage, which conceals the enormity of what she is under taking. Baby is not just learning a dance, but also developing the strength to stand up for what she believes in. She is defying her father (not to mention the law) in helping Penny. That’s got to require more frustration, anxiety and self-doubt than is displayed in this sequence.

I would love to skip the angst and live out a light-hearted, glossy montage of preparations for this cross country move with breezy moments of boxes being packed, celebratory drinks with friends, my last day at work and loading a moving truck. But then I wouldn’t earn the change or the growth that this experience will allow. So, I’ll stick with real life and hopefully survive this cross country move!

Candy Colored Vintage Typewriters, Oh My!

My mom always had her trusty 1960s Smith Corona typewriter ready for any occasion that necessitated a typewritten note or letter. I loved plucking away at the keys and watching the rhythmic click click of the typebars even before I could spell. I associated typewriters with being grown up and mature. So, at age 12, I didn’t ask for a Nintendo for Christmas like all of my other friends. Nope. I wanted a typewriter.

On Christmas morning, I was beyond excited to open up my very modern typewriter (its memory could save maybe 200 words). I typed everything on that– short stories, papers for school, college applications, and who knows what else. Though I now do all my typing on a MacBook Pro, I’m feeling some nostalgia for vintage typewriters like my mom had, especially ones in a candy colors like these…

 

My First Father’s Day Card

This is the first Father’s Day I have ever celebrated. Growing up, I never had a dad or even a strong male role model. I was raised by two amazing women, my mom (my great-aunt who adopted me) and my great-grand-mother. Father’s Day was never a date of significance to acknowledge. I did not know when it was coming or if it had passed. As a child, I made art projects for my mom on Father’s Day, and that never seemed strange. I lived a blissful ignorance of that date.

This year is different. On October 11, 2012 I found out I have a father. And not just any father, but an amazing one who cares deeply for his daughter. In the past eight months, we have enjoyed three visits in his home town and on in Los Angeles where I call home.

And so assembling this very first Father’s Day card was a special moment.

My First Father's Day Card

Millie

MillieMeet Millie, she is a piece of strange pottery but I love her! She may be an aquired taste, but I love my buppy. She is half puppy and half baby, if you couldn’t tell. I could not be prouder of her.

I adopted her on Etsy from Clayflower, who makes the most strange and amazing creatures from vintage dolls and other oddities.

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